That cunt.

RvCuntyFace.

Cunt, cunt cunty cunt cunt. Counting cunt cunt. However, cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt cunting cunt cunt. So cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt faced cunt. Massive skull faced cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt, cunt cunty cunt cunt. Counting cunt cunt. However, cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt counting cunt cunt. So cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt faced cunt. Massive skull faced cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt, cunt cunty cunt cunt. Counting cunt cunt. However, cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt counting cunt cunt. So cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt faced cunt. Massive skull faced cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt, cunt cunty cunt cunt. Counting cunt cunt. However, cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt counting cunt cunt. So cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt faced cunt. Massive skull faced cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt.Cunt, cunt cunty cunt cunt. Counting cunt cunt. However, cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt counting cunt cunt. So cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt faced cunt. Massive skull faced cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt, cunt cunty cunt cunt. Counting cunt cunt. However, cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Cunt counting cunt cunt. So cunt cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt faced cunt. Massive skull faced cunt cunt. Cunt cunt cunt cunt.

So, in summing up. CUNT

Until next time.

Posted in football | Leave a comment

All men and women are born equal. What went wrong?

I’d like to raise awareness on a matter that touched me today while out shopping. And, if I’m honest in this age of multicultural cosmopolitan wondererful world we live in, I was ashamed at what I witnessed.

In an age where we should all be treated as equal, every man, woman and child respected and cherished as we would cherish ourselves I witnessed a shocking exchange by the frozen chips section of my local Tesco store.

Two white women, in their mid twenties, both well dressed and of seemingly good education judging by the overheard discourse up until this point stood chatting. I myself had been eavesdropping unintentionally as my wife was ringing her sister to find out details of a shopping list.

The two women in question chatted nicely about wedding arrangements for June, then, mid conversation a man in his early thirties walked past and asked them if he may get to the frozen goods behind where the two women stood.

What was uttered next shocked me to my core. One of the women replied “Ok, wait a minute ginger nut”

It was a direct reference to the mans hair colour. Treated like a dog, just because he was red haired.

It shook me. I went to his aide and managed to get his chips for him. One of the women commented to me “Yuck. A ginger lover”

I was tarred by association. All because I stuck up for another human. Albeit a ginger one.

My point is, these poor fuckers have a shit time of it. But Lenny fucking Henry never mentions them on Red Nose Day. Which by the way must be annoying to red haired people. Even the colour is hijacked by other lesser charities and celebs while they must continue to take shit for the colour of their hair and pubes.

So, right here and now. I want to kick the wall down. I want to encourage everyone with a heart and social conscious to not only befriend a ginger nut this weekend, but to also shag them. No matter how teeth curlingly ginger they are, we should all take one for the team, in the name human compassion.

And when your so called mates mock you for it, be the bigger person, stand up for a red top. Sure, you could just put some money in the post to one, but where’s the human contact and spirit in that?

C’mon, “Shag a ginge” this weekend and do your bit.

I have already started emailing Lenny Henry, Bono, Sir Bob Geldof and The Prince of Wales to get this ball rolling. I am sure they will pick up the baton and next Red Nose Day we will see the “Shag a ginge” movement grow.

And to finish, I will now with his permission unveil how nice and genuine gingers can be. Have you ever wondered why our very own Keith the Gooner is bald? Yep, that’s right. He’s a 100% card carrying ginger haired loveable fool. So ladies or gents, do your bit this weekend. Have sex with a ginger.

Sadly, I’m married so I can’t help you lot out. So someone will have to shag two to make up for me.

And to promote this charitable movement I want to see the twitter hash tag

#ShagaGingerThisWeekend on the rise.

I thank you.

Daryl.

20130322-162042.jpg

Posted in fucking about | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Wenger out!

Now, I’m not one to knee jerk after a bad result. Nor and I one for silly folly involving black bin bags for cheap attempts at catching red top journos out. But, as much as I respect and love Arsene Wenger, I think it’s time he went.

Now now, lets not start dividing up into AKB and AWOUT brigades just yet. But, do let’s look at the facts.

The club has won fuck all since PV4 scored that penalty v Utd in the cup final of 2005. In fact, with a heavy heart looking back, despite his antics with Citeh as chief poacher now, at least his last action for us was to win something.

So, I feel it’s time to have a change about. Time to let Wenger move upstairs and manage the tea ladies for a couple of years before PSG take him.

What’s that? “But Daryl, who will do a better job than him at managing our beloved Arsenal?”

Well, I’ve drawn up a short list with logical, rationale reasoning for you to chew over when your in the pub.

Phil Brown:
The tango coloured ompah lumpah I think would make a great fit. He has man management experience and a wealth of one line quips for post game interviews that would drive our team of ‘almost rans’ into a trophy winning position. Just think, Gervinho is having a shocker, TV5 is slipping all over the shop. What better solution than to sit the useless cunts down on the pitch for a half time bollocking? The man is a tactical genius! Sign him up Wenger… Erm I mean Stan.

Gary Megson:
The faceless ghost of a second division team that have found form in the grey man of football. Gary would be great for the club. Him non-descript brand of mediocre team play coupled with his bland, characterless pre-match team talks would be the envy of the league. He’d speak so flatly that even Frimpong would be lulled to sleep. #Dench

Graham Taylor:
The one time turnip headed ex-England manager could do a job. With his emotional pre-match pressers and easy to pick up phrases he’d be a fans favourite in no time. “Do I not like that” he would sneer as Kos knocked in his third own goal of the match.
And, oh. How we would laugh as he remonstrated with the fourth official as the third red card is brandished by Dowd as we trail Liverpool by two goals. Think of the documentary value.

GAZZA:
The one time nations favourite who is now a figure of drunken mirth, through his own wilful intent to enter an early grave. He could be the one. Turning up to training half cut on grog and pills. The thought of which kit bag he might take a shit in during running drills would surely keep the lads on their toes no?
And what better motivation that the very real threat of a bucket of Jimmy Five Bellies warm piss over your head at 5am if you don’t perform the game before? It makes sense to me.

Pat Rice:
Old creaky knees. A club legend, an old school player. Pat would be ideal for us. Despite having the knees of a 78 yr old quadriplegic Pat could still show our shower of dross a thing or two during training about tracking back and getting a crunching tackle in.
His dedication to The Arsenal cannot be questioned, and neither can his stats. In the modern era, Pat has the highest win rate %
You can’t argue with those cold hard stats can you? Get him in and stop the rot Stan!

Postman Pat:
The now ex-England coach and part time children’s party look-a-like Fabio Capello would surely be a shoe in? He has won stacks at club level and managed to stay England manager long enough to see Rooney and Terry turn into figures of hate at the WC2010 games.
Sure, his ropey grasp of English might impede him with some of the team, but lets face it, who understands a fucking word Frimpong, Eastmond and the other ten year old rich kids are spunking off about anyways?
I say give Postman Pat a chance to deliver us some silverware.

Tony Pulis:
The much maligned and misunderstood Stoke boss could be the answer. His no nonsense approach and direct style of play might be just what you want as you sit down in your £40 seat eating your £3.50 cock-dog and supping back your £4.50 pint of piss beer.
Imagine it, if the team fail to deliver enough throw ins, corners or long balls to get a point they have the post match treat of Tony standing naked all bar his cap in the shower next to them.
I can just see the uncomfortable looks at the floor and each other as they catch sight of Pulis standing with a grimace in the doorway of the showers sporting an angry erection and slowly smirking as he eyes the room for the weak runt of the litter while his free hand “soaps up his genitals….”

And lastly the dream team..

Kevin Keegan & King Kenny:
What these two legends of football have not achieved in the game could be stored in the memory of a TOWIE cast member. These two gods of football management could roll back the years (all 8 of them) to the glory days again. The nose Kenny has for a signing, the cool measured non-flappable mindset of Keegan. What a fucking dynamic pairing. The league would not know what fucking hit it. Boom! Arsenal piss the quadruple in their first season. Grant Holt, our £23m signing scoops the football writers award as well and his team mate Kevin Nolan winning the golden boot after his £45m swap deal (Jack and Sagna going the other way if you’re wondering)

Pah! But this is all the stuff of dreams. Tomorrow we will all wake up and Wenger and the feckless board will still be there….

Have a day.

@goonerman2

Posted in football | Leave a comment

The king is dead. Long live the king!

20120502-015645.jpg

Good day,

I know. Long time between blog updates. What can I say? My day job/life has taken up time and lack of insprido has left a vacuum for post.

But, here I am, so..

Well done to the FA. Instead of picking the easy option and choosing the man whom the tabloid media types have been stuffing down our throats for the few months, they picked Roy Hodgson.

The tabloid and ‘pundits’ berated Fabio for his poor English language communication and not being, well, English enough for them. They glossed over his many achievements prior to the England job and his win rate since he took the job. (from memory the only England manager with a higher win % was Sir Alf Ramsey)

And, even despite the horrendous thunder cunt of a player John Terry publicly undermining Fabio during the world cup in 2010, a large section of the media still back John Terry and the team of low achieving, average, over paid crop of dullards in our national team.

You’ll note that during the tax trail of Harry, not one paper I am aware of ran any stories or articles mocking Redknapps self confessed poor grasp on the English written language.  Nor did they mock his poor memory. Not one Janet and John book photoshopped into the pictures or such like. Well why would they? Harry, to a modern ‘hack’ is what the golden goose was to Jack. A gift that keeps giving.

Good old Harry. Always got time to pull up and wind his window down to chat to the lads from Sky. Always into the training ground and straight to the press/media area as opposed to the actual training ground.

The hard truth is, he would have made an ideal England manager for the tabloids. He would have been happy giving nice cosy team line ups. He would have surrendered all his plans as long as a camera or mic was rolling. Good ole Arry, takes the work out of reporting.

I’d imagine that after the months of the “Harry for England” campaign, the looks on the faces of all those who have loudly, and, with no shame told all of us that there is only one man to pick, finding out Roy has got the gig and not their beloved Harry would have been something else.

Oh, Harry. A man who himself continuously put himself in the shop window at the expense of spurs season finale.

His telling sound bite when asked about the England job weeks back prior to spuds v Stevanage.

“I’ve not spoken to anybody – I’m not going to rule myself out but I’ve not been ruled in either,”

And that line alone tells you all you need to know about Harry. Instead of saying “Sorry, I am contracted to tottnum, I’m here to discuss the FA cup game” he chose to effectively say “I’m lifting my skirt to show the muff, but the FA haven’t rang me yet”

Of course, the best bit of this whole caper is the hilarious fact that despite all Harrys’ titty shaking and cheeky chappy ‘give me a ring, and I’ll drop spurs like a warm shit’ posturing, the FA never rang him.

And, coupled with the implosion of form at the lane, Harry has looked less and less the right man for the job. Blaming everyone but himself for the run of results since that wondrous 5-2 at the Grove. In fact, he even offered that ‘everyone tells me we are better playing 4-4-2, but we’re not’ which means he listened to everyone, went 4-4-2, then despite knowing it was not working stuck with it.. Wow! Blinding bit of tactical genius there Harry..

Of course, since the tabloids and sky championed Harry so forcefully, they look rather stupid now. The ‘nail on’ prediction of Harry for England, the endorsements from pundits and players have all backfired. The FA have had the temerity to go and pick a better, quieter, smarter option in Roy Hodgson.

And as quickly as the rags had to wipe and delete the ready prepared “Harry gets England job” complete with three lions (and Rosie, presumably) photoshops, they have filled the pages and airwaves with nothing short of contempt for Roy Hodgson.

Poor old Roy. A much better option and on paper a better manager. Sadly, our cunts of lazy hacks will do nothing to support him and will ridicule him until he quits or gets sacked. In fact, I’d wager that even if Roy gets to the semi at the coming Euros, the headlines will read “Woyed rage as England crash out” or some such line.

Just as a point, as soon as I read the first “Woy” in print mocking Roy on a national papers print I have ceased to use it. Why? Well, when I used it previously, I never backed it with the bile and agenda that is clearly evident in the tabloids now.

Roy has been, and for my money, always will be, a gentleman. Never one for quick smirking soundbites or promoting his own brand. And seeing him mocked and ridiculed as we are seeing in the media at present has changed my outlook on the matter.

The King is dead. Fuck Harry! Give me King Roy any day!

Have a day.

20120502-015750.jpg

Posted in football | Leave a comment

QPR – Barton – Mark Hughes and the forgotten c**t.

Good day,

With the looming game of QPR away on Saturday I felt the need to highlight one name that has been under used when discussing the long list of reasons/cunts why we want to smash QPR in the arse-box with our goal machine of a team.

Sure, Mark Hughes has a long pedigree as a classless wirey haired minge lipped twat.  And yes, Joey Barton, the modern day `thinker` has a list of nasty, cunty, illegal & shit headed episodes to gaze upon.

But, we should take a few moments to acknowledge among these aforementioned shits the missing name of Adel Taarabt

Adel, unlike the talented award winning Adele in the pop charts spud supporting cunt, this Adel is a turd who has been flushed through the footballing sewage works of the spuds down the Seven Sisters.  Ok, he may have only played 9 games for them, but he still `was` one of them. And, as far as I am aware, only Sol has managed to walk out of the lane without the stench of shite in recent years.

So, remember to boo him wherever you are watching the game on Saturday and do use the `C` bomb freely on all three of the toss-pots.

FINALLY!

Have a day!

Posted in Blogging it | 4 Comments

Face like a….

Arseblog was right about Alex McLeish looking like a sunburnt ball bag..

Posted in Blogging it | Leave a comment

Ok, It`s no number 1# in the hit parade….

In amongst my drinking tonight I found on my iTunes play list this old gem I (drunkenly) performed when I had songify on my old iPhone.

I also came across this one too.  Another drunken gem…

Enjoy! and bottoms up.

Posted in Blogging it | Leave a comment